A Modest Proposal

Captain Hook,
will you marry me?
All it took was a look
to make my knees go weak;
I read of you in this book,
"Paul," or "Peter," or "Pete:"
you're just the crookedest crook,
liar felon and cheat,
so won't you please marry me?


You work the brocade
like you're Louis XIV,
I wonder what you paid
for your seven gold teeth?
I'd price my maidenhead
at your love for a week
so if you're lookin' for a maid
look no further, my liege,
just marry me!


When it comes to the harpsichord
you've got mad skillz;
you make piracy look
like the way to pay bills;
so if you'll let me come on
and be your Red-Handed Jill,
I'll swab the decks, hoist the mizz'n,
and tell stories until
you'll marry me.


I wanna know what you can do
with your one good hand;
but I don't want you
for just a one-night stand
let me sail the big blue
far away from the sand
I bet somewhere in your loot,
you've got two wedding bands,
so marry me!


I'll have my mail addressed
to your beautiful ship;
i'll get your red coat pressed,
and we can skinny-dip
you can watch me get dressed
and we'll be joined at the hip;
and we'll share how i am blessed,
and how you're well-equipped. ;)
don't you wanna marry me?
don't you wanna marry me?
won't you please--jimmy hook--marry me?